Vanderbilt Museum: Guns

Hmmm… lemme grab my assassin’s thinking cap. Alternative weapons and ways to kill six months, you say? No work. No study. A challenging mission, but I would try:

1. Travelling

2. Reading all the books on my Kindle, with time left over to read the fine prints on EVERYTHING!

3. Camping, hiking, climbing something (maybe a Piton or two)

4. Answering more Plinky prompts and generally doing more writing (which is technically still work, ent?)

Mission impossible? Well gimme de six months and we will see…

I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.

I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.

-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.

-You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.

-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it’s difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).

I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.

Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.

If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.

If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.

Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it’s better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.

If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it’s not perfect. Again, I’m not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I’m disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.

Best, Mike

My personality would NOT allow me to, but I don’t want to appear closed-minded so let’s see:

America's Got Talent: I’m not American

American Idol: Ditto

Survivor: Maybe, if I could leave before nightfall, on the FIRST DAY

Big Brother: Yes, as a fly on the wall in the Big Brother House

Project Runway: Maybe, I’d appear just to say “Thank you Mood” and “Make it Work”

So You Think You Can Dance: No, I don’t think I can dance.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians: As soon as I’m done keeping up with my own life

What Not To Wear: Yes, without the cameras around

The Apprentice: Definitely Not! I’m my own boss

End of open-mindedness. The answer is NO

TO DO LIST: Stop waiting for a 'good prompt'. Log onto Plinky and respond to any prompt!

STATUS: Done.

Any LIAT flight qualifies…

1. There’s an underwear shortage at a US prison; inmates are forced to wear the same undergarment for days at a time.
2. Scotland Yard has ordered policemen to stop arresting people whose only crime is cussing the police.
3. Lightning stuck a school in Uganda and killed 22 students and one teacher.
4. Apparently, UN peacekeepers from Nepal were the ones who brought Cholera to Haiti when they came to offer assistance after the earthquake.
5. Chavez finally revealed the truth about his health –  he has cancer.
6. A US prison allowed two murder convicts to get married on the compound. During the ceremony, mesh fencing separated the bride and groom, and they were not allowed to touch or kiss.  “It was the nicest wedding of two people in jail I’ve ever seen,” said a lawyer who was present.
7. US police charged a homeless man who’d helped himself to an outdoor electrical outlet to charge his two cell phones.
8. In the US, a woman tried to resist arrest by spraying police with her breast milk.
9. Researchers have found that ovulating women have the ability to identify homosexual men.

10. A driver in China obeyed a sign indicating the location of a car park. The sign pointed down a flight of stairs.

11. Over 250 Colombian women began their “Crossed Legs Strike”. They will withhold sex until their husbands get the government to pave the road to their community. The husbands subsequently launched a hunger strike (no pun intended) to pressure the government.

12. A UK man accused of raping a teenager says he is innocent because he suffers from sexsomnia and has no way of stopping himself from having sex while he sleeps.

13. Buju faces jail time but his lawyer assured that the US will not seize his assets.

14. “I hate the babies, they disgust me…My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them,” said the Octomum.

15. A US journalist called Obama a ‘dick’ on national television.

16. A Trinidadian living in New York will spend 6 years in prison for torturing and killing a pet cat.

17. A drunk driver in the US hit and killed a pedestrian, and drove for three miles with the victim’s body lodged in the passenger sit next to him. The driver, who was eventually stopped by police, had not even noticed the victim in his car.

18. A Scottish woman finally received help to overcome her phobia. For 20 years she’d been afraid to eat bananas; she’d even been afraid of being in the same room as a banana.

19. A US man was a Good Samaritan when he returned $17 000 that he had found; however he was fined $500 for lying about where he’d found the cash.

Consider yourselves up to speed…

1. A recruitment agency put together a list of interview “blunders”. It included an interviewee phoning his parents halfway through the interview to let them know that things were going well, and interviewees bringing parents along to interviews to speak on their behalf.
2. The” beautiful people” website was struck by a “Shrek” virus which allowed thousands of “ugly” people to sign up.
3. A US man has developed a fast-food bestseller –fried Kool-Aid.
4.  An 11-year-old Jamaican boy committed suicide by hanging.
5. A British company hopes to get its erection-enhancing condom approved throughout Europe.
6. An unemployed Irishman invested in billboard advertising himself; the billboard begged:  ”Save me from emigration”. He landed a lucrative job as a result.
7. A Jewish court believed that a stray dog was the reincarnation of a lawyer who’d once insulted that court; therefore it condemned the dog to death by stoning.
8. “This is clear evidence that the bees are sensitive to phone signals and are disturbed by mobile phones,” a Swiss scientist reported. Mobile phone signals supposedly affect bees’ buzzing, and cause them to leave the hive at the wrong time.
9. Buju Banton was sentenced to 10 years in US prison.

10. A 67-year-old US man is grieving over his loss: someone stole his Barbie doll featuring a detachable pregnant belly containing a tiny doll fetus.

11. In the US, a clerk told a robber that she could not access the cash because a purchase had to be made to open the register. The robber purchased a pack of gum for $1.

12. A US woman hit a little boy who was riding his bike; she got out of her car to retrieve her hubcap and left the little boy who was seriously injured.

13. In the US, a man was buried with dentures belonging to another man. His wife asked that his body be dug up to correct that mistake.

14. In the UK, a thief came to court wearing the coat he’d denied stealing.

15. In the US, a coin box placed to collect money for children with cancer was stolen from a police station.

16. People are starting to wonder about Hugo Chavez’s health since he’s been uncharacteristically silent of late.

17. The Haitian parliament rejected their President’s choice of prime minister.

18. Jack Warner resigned from his position as a vice-president of FIFA amid a corruption scandal.

19. In France, a woman was granted permission to marry her dead fiancé. The authorities allowed this because she was able to prove that they were in the process of planning the wedding when he died.

Consider yourselves up to speed…

1. Don’t Wake Daddy by Tragically Hip: An Irish woman hit a man who was already lying in the road, and did not stop because she didn’t want her son to see a dead body. After the hit, she run home to carry out “various chores”.
2. Papa Don’t Preach by Madonna: A NYC cop stopped a woman who was riding a bicycle to warn her that her skirt was too short: “it’s very disturbing, and it’s distracting the cars and it’s dangerous…it could cause an accident.”
3. Forgive Them Father by Lauryn Hill: A US man complained of feeling ill while in the act of raping an old lady at knifepoint. He got off her to rest for a while, and when he tried to get back to his dirty deed, he rolled over and died!
4. The Doggfather by Snoop Dogg: Two Malaysian neighbors finally ended a feud over barking dogs by signing a peace treaty.
5. Don’t Cry Daddy by Elvis Presley: A British man, realizing that medication was doing little to remove a wart of his finger, resorted to using a gun to shoot the wart off. “The wart was gone, and so was most of my finger… The best thing is that the wart has gone. It was giving me (a) lot of trouble.”
6. That Silver Haired Daddy of Mine by Gene Autry: Hugh Hefner’s wedding was called off. Hef discovered that his fiancée (24 year old) had planned to ditch him at the altar.
7. Papa Don’t Take No Mess by James Brown: A Japanese scientist developed a burger made with protein taken from human excrement.
8. Come Back Sweet Papa by Louis Armstrong: A UK man committed suicide after his cat went missing. The cat returned home two weeks later.
9. My Daddy Knows Best by The Marvelettes : UK fishermen will be forced to use whole wheat bread, and not white bread, as bait. According to authorities white bread is bad for the fish; it leaves fish ‘bloated and lethargic’.

10. Sugar Daddy by Jackson Five: A study found that that men who drive sports cars and buy flashy products do so to attract women. These men are generally interested in short-term sexual relationships.

11. Things My Father Said by Black Stone Cherry: A man found guilty of impersonating a doctor, had advised one of his patients to eat watermelon while sitting in a hot tub to cure her kidney issues.

12. My Father’s House by Bruce Springsteen: 12% of Canadian fathers are stay-at-home dads.

13. Big Poppa by Notorious B.I.G: A wife killed her husband after she discovered his extra-marital escapades, by keeping count of his Viagra tablets.

14. Daddy’s Hand by Holly Dunn: A US man brought a lawsuit against a nail salon for charging him $US1 more for a manicure. “I feel I’m being discriminated against based on my gender. There’s nothing to say my hands or my nails are any different than a woman’s nails”.

15. Father Figure by George Michaels: Al Qaeda has named Osama bin Laden’s successor.

16. I’m a Ding Dong Daddy by Louis Armstrong: A US man was kicked off a plane and arrested for refusing to pull up his sagging pants.

17. Papa Was a Rolling Stone by Temptations: Every year, over 20,000 people in the UK have to be hospitalized after falling out of bed.

18. Daddy’s Money by Ricochet: An Australian woman will face a 2-year prison sentence for using a fictitious child to obtain over $100,000 in welfare.

19. Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag by James Brown: Kidnappers holding a Trini businessman demanded a ransom of $200,000 and a bag of marijuana!

Consider yourselves up to speed…